DOWN MEMORY LANE

 

“Fitbaw and Folk Music, Ye Ken”

 

Saturday 26th March 1988

 

Queen’s Park 1 St.Johnstone 5

 

We first met St.Johnstone supporters in April 1987 on a Saturday morning prior to Queen’s playing at Muirton Park.

 

 Once we were up and running as a Supporters League side we continued to play friendlies and we’d already met four times in our debut season before Saintees travelled to Queen’s Park Recs on the morning before the big game at Hampden in March.

 

[Football report adapted from Manager Micky Mouth’s report in our team’s programme]

 

“I had nothing to do with the team selection for this game as I was on holiday. I had left Campbell in charge (never again) but he refused to reveal the team to me when I phoned him on the Wednesday.

 

On the Saturday morning I had a brainstorm and got up at 8.30am for an 80mph van ride from Gauldry to Cupar. From Cupar to Edinburgh Haymarket, a train to Glasgow, then a taxi to the Recs.

 

As soon as I arrived, just before half time, I realised why the Captain (Campbell) hadn’t told me the team.

 

It was, in no order, Garry Templeman, Iain Campbell (c), Hector Cook, Alan Raeburn, Joe McMonagle, Derek Stronach, Martin Harvey, Kenny Harvey, Alan Rhodes, John Drennan and Stephen McGilp. No subs.

 

Can you believe it, Ronnie Smith had failed to turn up. This is a first which we hope will be repeated.

 

 This was without doubt the worst team to don the famous White Brazilian tops.

 

At half time it was 1-1 (yes, I know, it’s hard to believe) after Saints had scored first and Sexy Hexie had equalised just before the break.

 

The second half was just hell to watch as Saints scored four (it should have been more) without reply. Mind you it might have been a different story if McGilp hadn’t missed an open goal at 2-1.

 

You had to feel sorry for Faither Templeman as he had no chance with any of the goals. Joe McMonagle sold the third goal and Campbell sold the fourth, doing in his knee in the process. He claims it wasn’t his fault but just ask Garry or Joe.

 

It’s hard to believe that balding drunk Derek “Ken” Menzies scored twice and he also came close to a hat-trick with a header. Shades of Goal Machine Drennan !

 

Wee Les Muirson was unlucky not to make it 6-1 when he hit the bar with only Faither to beat. Could it have been the because of the cans he had before the match (be all you can be !) ? Mind you he did give me one (a can that is !). Cheers Les.”

 

After the match it was off to the Florida Park where we were served by Jim Brogan (ex Celtic, Coventry and Ayr) who gave the Saints guys a tenner towards their round as he always liked Willie Ormond (Saintees were playing under the banner WOMSAC, the Willie Ormond Memorial Saints Away Club).

 

It was then on to Hampden to see Queen’s beat Saints 2-1 [Queen’s finished eight points (two for a win) behind second place Saints with Ayr United winning the Championship].

 

Back to the Florida Park to spend the tenner before we headed to the Social Club at Hampden for a big event, The McCalmans in Concert.

 

 

The McCalmans were a well known folk band and unusually the Club had managed to put on an event so the place was reasonably full, for a change.

 

Gav, Sandy and Derek Ken, amongst others, had stayed on and we were a wee bit worse for wear when we reached the Club (in the main stand of old Hampden).

 

The McCalmans had started their act, which was songs and humorous stories, when about a dozen of us arrived and it would be fair to say we made a wee bit of noise whilst entering the Club and trying to find seats.

 

The only seats we could find were beside Colin Houston and his wife in the corner near the pool table then we noisily got ourselves a drink.

 

 Gav helped bring the drinks back to the table but spilt a whole pint so he had to make his way back to the bar for a cloth excusing himself as he went.

 

Once he’d got a cloth he staggered back to the table, wiped up the spilt pint then took the cloth back to the bar. Back he came to the table and knocked over another pint with all of us in uproar !

 

Meanwhile the McCalmans were carrying on their act and trying to tell “funny” stories which were greeted from our table with sarcastic applause and laughter. Obviously the band weren’t used to this as they never came back with any adlibs or anything else, so we carried on !

 

Eventually we were asked to keep quiet but that only meant we talked in a loud whisper rather than our normal voices.

 

All this sounds like we ruined the night but Colin Houston later told us that it was the best night he’d been at in the Club, and all down to us, not the act who were dreadful.

 

Mind you I don’t think everybody had the same opinion as Colin !

 

After the Club Sandy, Derek and Gav stayed the night at the Captain’s in Prospecthill Circus. Thanks again Mrs C for putting up with six drunks in your front room. I’ll never forget the Captain crashing out on the floor behind the couch with his head in a bowl of rice !

 

Cheers again to the Perth boys for a great day and night.”

 

As the years have gone on our friendship with Saintees has got stronger and stronger and many weekends and nights out have been enjoyed.  

 

However, we’ve never seen the McCalmans in concert again !

 

Final word to Manager Micky Mouth.

 

TEN THINGS I SAW THAT SATURDAY THAT I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD EVER SEE

 

1. Saintees winning

2. Saintees scoring five

3. Menzies scoring (your joking, ken)

4. Rhodesy kicking the ball

5. Sit Down Joe lasting ninety minutes

6. Davie Tate refereeing from the sideline so his shoes didn’t get mud on them

7. Kenny Keebabs Harvey running to mark someone at OUR throw in !

8. Ronnie Smith not turning up

9. “Elton” Raeburn heading the ball with power

10. Drennan nearly wearing the same strip as everyone else, only the socks were different

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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